{"id":41575,"date":"2025-08-07T09:15:55","date_gmt":"2025-08-07T14:15:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/?p=41575"},"modified":"2025-08-29T11:14:30","modified_gmt":"2025-08-29T16:14:30","slug":"john-rocker-reveals-our-fantasy-draft-order-at-his-discretion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/john-rocker-reveals-our-fantasy-draft-order-at-his-discretion\/","title":{"rendered":"John Rocker Reveals Our Fantasy Draft Order At His Discretion"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\" style=\"margin-top:0;margin-right:0;margin-bottom:0;margin-left:0\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<div class=\"ast-oembed-container \" style=\"height: 100%;\"><iframe class=\"lazyload\" title=\"John Rocker Reveals Our Fantasy Draft Order At His Discretion\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Xlh4BYutWEc?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:100px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The 14th season of &#8220;OUCH, My Fucking Clavicle!&#8221; is upon us. A league known for its<a href=\"https:\/\/i80sportsblog.com\/inappropriate-fantasy-football-team-names-earmuffs\/\"> inappropriate fantasy football team names. <\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, the league is smoking cigarettes, using swear words, MASTURBATING, and skipping days of 9th grade &#8211; regularly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So who better to announce 2025 draft order than noted asshole John Rocker?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>But how did we get here?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the year of our Lord, 2012, Chargers running back Ryan Mathews was a &#8220;can&#8217;t miss&#8221; fantasy first round pick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Coming off a 1,500+ total yard 50+ rec, 6 TUD season in limited duty, the Mathews Hype was at peal levels entering year 3 as he took the reigns from newly departed best fantasy RB ever, LaDainian Tomlinson.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He was the &#8220;missing link&#8221; in an offense that featured Vincent Jackson, A Gates, Malcom Floyd, and Triggerman\/father of ELEVENTEEN, Philip Rivers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">But then, he broke his right FUCKING CLAVICLE on his first preseason carry &#8211; for a nice 5 yard gain which would easily lead the NFL over a full season, .5 fantasy points &#8211; and sucked ass all year.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to numerous reports, including players at field level, after the sound of his clavicle cracking subsided, Mathews reportedly screamed, &#8220;OUCH, My FUCKING CLAVICLE &#8211; I&#8217;m reasonably sure its broken!&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(<a href=\"https:\/\/www.nfl.com\/news\/ryan-mathews-of-san-diego-chargers-breaks-clavicle-0ap1000000048067\">https:\/\/www.nfl.com\/news\/ryan-mathews-of-san-diego-chargers-breaks-clavicle-0ap1000000048067<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not only was Ryan &#8220;Raw Dog&#8221; Mathews broken, but so were innumerable fantasy teams who had selected him with their first round pick. He missed the first 2 weeks and was compromised for far more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In week 3 he scored his first TUD of the season &#8211; and what would be his ONLY TUD of the season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then in Week 15, the unthinkable happened in the fantasy playoffs &#8211; he broke his LEFT FUCKING clavicle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(<a href=\"https:\/\/www.cbssports.com\/nfl\/news\/chargers-rb-ryan-mathews-headed-to-ir-with-broken-clavicle\/\">https:\/\/www.cbssports.com\/nfl\/news\/chargers-rb-ryan-mathews-headed-to-ir-with-broken-clavicle\/<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to numerous reports from people at field level, after the sound of his clavicle being crushed against the force of an unforgiving earth, he reportedly screamed, &#8220;OUCH, MY FUCKING CLAVICLE &#8211; THIS TIME i BROKE MY LEFT ONE!&#8217;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Per the Mayan calendar, 12\/21\/2012 was supposed to be the end of the world. And for many fantasy owners, their world ended with the sound of Mathews&#8217; fragile clavicles being crushed to dust.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Is this YOUR year to get completely buttfucked? Your fate awaits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Past Champions List:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>1st Place | 2nd Place | 3rd Place | Your Finish<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>2024 Restaurant with Ted Danson Demardiac Arrest lSmotherdngravy 12th<br>2023 Captain Insano Castillo Nation Demardiac Arrest 9th<br>2022 Penis Inspector \ud83c\udf46\ud83c\udf46\ud83c\udf46 Deshaun\u2019s Massage Envy Captain Insano 1st<br>2021 Penis Inspector \ud83c\udf46\ud83c\udf46\ud83c\udf46 Captain Insano The Boner Express!!! 1st<br>2020 Penis Inspector \ud83c\udf46\ud83c\udf46\ud83c\udf46 Sen. Ernie McCracken Buc Nasty 1st<br>2019 Da Beers Sen. Ernie McCracken Lit &amp; Gay AF 10th<br>2018 Captain Insano Dickface HernandezNeckTieCo 12th<br>2017 Marty Ball Dickface Lit &amp; Gay AF 7th<br>2016 Buttfuckin&#8217; Marty Ball Tom&#8217;s lot lizard 1st<br>2015 Captain Insano The Boner Express!!! DCarr4MVP 7th<br>2014 DCarr4MVP The Boner Express!!! Sacks to be Cutler 8th<br>2013 The Boner Express!!! K.C.C.O. Captain Insano 8th<br>2012 WhoWnts2SmellMadonna FLF Crew IPG 1st<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The 14th season of &#8220;OUCH, My Fucking Clavicle!&#8221; is upon us. A league known for its inappropriate fantasy football team [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":41581,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1920],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-41575","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-baseball"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>John Rocker Reveals Our Fantasy Draft Order At His Discretion - I-80 Sports Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The 14th season of &quot;OUCH, My Fucking Clavicle!&quot; is upon us. 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